In recent months, I?ve heard quite a bit of ?chatter? about the independent, low budget film, Juno. Have you seen it? The film revolves around a quirky 16-year old girl who conceives a child out-of-wedlock and decides to relinquish the baby to another family for adoption. While I enjoyed it, I was also troubled by a few things in the picture. First off, though I know it?s just a movie, but portions of it struck me as hopelessly unrealistic. For example, the pregnant girl?s dad and step mom are extremely calm when she breaks the news to them. Now, I made some poor choices when I was young, maybe not with similar consequences, but even more to my point ? my folks weren?t nearly half as measured as those in the film. Most mothers and fathers will eventually come around, but it?s reasonable to expect them to first let off some steam. These parents acted as if their daughter had broken a window, not altered her entire future.

The second disconnect for me was how she received the reaction of her peers at school. She acted surprised and irritated that they were staring at her – as if a pregnant high school student is as common as acne or a new pair of glasses. Do you remember your high school days? Were you surrounded by thoughtful, diplomatic, compassionate and considerate classmates? I remember how any small blemish or birth defect was derided in often harsh tones. It didn’t thrill me, but I don’t look back with bitterness. It was human nature. It was immaturity. It was a time of trying to fit in by trying to be just like everybody else. I know times have changed some, but I can’t imagine they’ve changed that much. But the part that I found most troubling revolved around the adoptive couple. When we meet them, they appear happily married and equally excited about the pending arrival. But then we discover the wife is the person who really wants the baby and the husband isn’t at all ready for parenthood. He panics and abandons his wife and family. What bugs me is the portrayal of the husband as a “runner”. By “runner” I mean someone who, when the situation gets tough, runs out of one life and into another. Yes, I know men can be childish, irrational and selfish. But I’m tired of seeing the man consistently portrayed as the one who, in times of trial, just can’t cut the mustard. Was I really ready to be a father when my first child was born? No. How about when my wife went into labor two months early? No But, I held my wife’s hand as we went through some of the toughest things we’ve ever encountered. I didn’t run, I didn’t weasel my way out of our marriage or out of something that seemed overwhelming on even a good day. How about when our second child was born two months premature? No. I stood firm and even though I felt as useless as a husband at that moment, I did what I could. I didn’t run. And as a matter of fact, I resent the portrayal of men as chickens. We fix the cars. We work 40 plus hours a week. We may cook dinner several times a week and pick up our kids from activities on a regular basis. Admittedly, we’re far from perfect. We’ve arrived at home without the children we were supposed to meet and sheepishly returned to the school or park to right our wrong. On some bad days, we’ve even whined about how we shouldn’t have to do all those things I just said we regularly accomplish. But we are, for the most part, men worthy of the posts to which we’re assigned. And I think when we’re portrayed as cowards, we do a grave disservice to not only the imperfect men among us, but to the women who labor beside them. After all, we’re a fallen and faulted bunch. If perfection is expected of men, shouldn’t the same be expected of women? Here’s to the men – faults and all. Give yours a hug. To my male readers, I want to give you a virtual pat on the back and a slug on the arm. And to those few deadbeats out there, I might remind you of a famous observation from the former heavyweight boxer, Joe Lewis: You can run, but you can’t hide.